DIRECTOR MARTIN SCORSESE GIVEN COMMAND OF U.S. WAR EFFORT IN IRAQ BECAUSE OF FLAIR FOR STAGING VIOLENCE THAT COMES OUT AS SCRIPTED

WASHINGTON - President Bush today named legendary film director Martin Scorsese as Coadjutor Secretary of Defense and assigned him to command the U.S. war effort in the occupation of Iraq.

White House insiders say that the President had become increasingly impatient with the military's effort to quell the Iraqi insurgency so he decided to hitch the war effort, and likely his administration's place in history, to Scorsese's signature swirling, white-hot directorial style that infuses his films with excitement in every frame.

President Bush said it is his hope that Scorsese's appointment will have an immediate impact. "Martin Scorsese has proven time and again that he is able to stage a crackling, ultraviolent story with breathtaking assurance that sticks closely to a script," said President Bush. "I determined that's what we needed in Iraq."

Scorsese said he has hired William Monahan, screenwriter of The Departed, as assistant Coadjutor Secretary of Defense to craft a "taut script, with an emotionally satisfying ending that will bring the U.S. out on top." He also has retained his long-time editor Thelma Schoonmaker "to keep the narrative moving and eliminate unnecessary delays in the war."


Scorsese vowed "to stick closely to the script with, of course, frequent detours for bursts of explosive, blood-splattered, pop-pop-pop brutality."