The liberal wing of the United States Supreme Court -- Justices Breyer, Stevens, Souter and Ginsburg -- are holding their annual Fourth of July picnic today at the dude ranch owned by Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg in Cody, Wyoming.
The Justices are unsure if fellow Justice Anthony Kennedy will show up. "Sometimes he swings out our way, sometimes he swings over to Justice Scalia's picnic," said Justice Ginsburg, wielding a branding iron. "You can never tell with him."
Just when the buffalo burgers were ready to come off the grill, the guest of honor made his appearance, The Living Constitution. The thrilled Justices let loose a "whoop whoop" shout.
"Damn! I didn't recognize you," an excited Justice Stevens shouted to The Living Constitution. "You must have done something to your font size or something. And those sunglasses are really 'you.' But you look different every time I see you."
"Hey, I'm whatever you all want me to be," joked The Living Constitution as the Justices roared with laughter. "And guess what, dudes? You don't even have to bother with Article Five"
"Article Five?" said a puzzled Justice Breyer. "I've never heard of it."
"Oh, you know, man," explained The Living Constitution in a voice dripping with sarcasm, "that's the Article that sets forth with strained and ponderous prose the unwieldy and cumbersome procedure to amend me, which is almost impossible to achieve, including ratification by three-fourths of the states' legislatures."
"F*ck that!" exploded Justice Souter, putting his hand on The Living Constitution's shoulder. "Who needs amendments when you've got The Living Constitution!" The Justices erupted in raucous laughter; some applauded.
Before the group sat down to eat, The Living Constitution introduced his new girlfriend. "Folks, this here is my latest squeeze, The Evolving Standards of Decency. I am one lucky bastard -- she does whatever I want her to do." He whispered to Justice Souter: "And she's more than willing to get together with you all, too."
