THE VATICAN, KDKA APOLOGIZE FOR CRUSADES, FIRING BOB PRINCE

VATICAN CITY - Seeking atonement for what they call "two of history's greatest injustices," Pope Benedict read a statement from the balcony of his apartment jointly prepared by the Vatican and KDKA Radio of Pittsburgh:

The Holy See and KDKA news talk 1020 radio, in communion with people of good throughout all ages, express their profound sorrow for the roles they played in the unconscionable atrocities of the so-called "crusades" of the early middle ages as well as the termination of Pirates broadcaster Bob Prince in the mid-1970's. We humbly acknowledge that our participation in these improvident events created a serious rift between Christians and Muslims that has never fully healed and deprived baseball fans of the incalculable joy of hearing such phrases as 'kiss it goodbye,' and 'spread some chicken on the hill with Will.' The Holy See and KDKA are deeply saddened by the grievous suffering caused by the these acts, and commit ourselves to healing the wounds of all who were offended so that we can achieve genuine brotherhood with all peoples.