Centers for Disease Control: "'Typhoid Hillary' has to stop hugging her supporters--at this rate, half the older women in America will be dead."
"Only weeks ago, in Orlando, Florida, terrorists targeted our LGBT community--or maybe it was the BLT community--doesn't matter. As your President, I will do everything in my power to protect both of them from oppression. To the BLT community: I will put an end to overcooked bacon, stale bread, and tomatoes that aren't fresh. Believe me. Believe me."