Estonia pretends it is the U.S.--borrows billions from China, gives citizens tutorial on football, welfare, and sloth; Hillary's email breach blamed
Centers for Disease Control: "'Typhoid Hillary' has to stop hugging her supporters--at this rate, half the older women in America will be dead."
"Only weeks ago, in Orlando, Florida, terrorists targeted our LGBT community--or maybe it was the BLT community--doesn't matter. As your President, I will do everything in my power to protect both of them from oppression. To the BLT community: I will put an end to overcooked bacon, stale bread, and tomatoes that aren't fresh. Believe me. Believe me."
Omar Mateen's 911 call: 'My name is I pledge of allegiance to Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi of the Islamic State . . . . Tell America to stop bombing Syria and Iraq.'
"The only way to prevent another alligator attack is to arm every child at Disney. Believe me. Believe me."
PennDOT director Rufus Peckham said he "has no idea" how the ramp got to West Virginia, but he noted "it's no surprise that the ramp bolted--it's called 'runaway' for good reason."
“The research really shocked us,” said Dr. Noah Swayne, who headed the five year study at a cost to taxpayers of $18 million.
The study concludes the cliché should be altered to read, "She wrote too much.”
“Please tell Ms. Baez we shall come over,” Dr. King said.
But the secretary erroneously scribbled, “Please tell Ms. Baez we shall overcome,” and the rest is history.