Clinton Deletes Tweet She Sent After Orlando Terrorist Attack


ORLANDO - After Omar Mateen, a follower of ISIS, gunned down 50 people at a gay nightclub in Orlando, Hillary Clinton sent, then minutes later deleted, a tweet that said "Donald Trump is the only one who can save us."

Donald Trump told supporters at a rally in Pittsburgh that the shooting at an Orlando gay club was a "real shame" and that "some of those gays--let me tell you, folks--they can really dance. Believe me. Believe me."

At the White House, President Obama reassured the LGBT community that the greatest threat at the Pulse Club last night was not Islamic terrorism but climate change. The President added that the Crusades waged by Christians in the 11th Century "were also bad."

Missing runaway truck ramp found in West Virginia

Authorities in Pennsylvania say the runaway truck ramp of Pittsburgh's Parkway West was found near Parkersburg, W.Va. in "good condition," and that the ramp has been reunited with the Parkway West.

PennDOT director Rufus Peckham said he "has no idea" how the ramp got to West Virginia, but he noted "it's no surprise that the ramp bolted--it's called 'runaway' for good reason."

Study finds that’s not all she wrote

Scientists have debunked the cliché “that’s all she wrote” by proving she wrote more.

“The research really shocked us,” said Dr. Noah Swayne, who headed the five year study at a cost to taxpayers of $18 million.

The study concludes the cliché should be altered to read, "She wrote too much.”

Flashback: Anthem for Civil Rights Movement Resulted From Error in Transcription

In 1962, singer-activist Joan Baez invited Dr. Martin Luther King and his wife to dinner. Dr. King telephoned Baez to accept her invitation and spoke with her secretary.

“Please tell Ms. Baez we shall come over,” Dr. King said.

But the secretary erroneously scribbled, “Please tell Ms. Baez we shall overcome,” and the rest is history.

'Harambe' most popular name for boys since Cincinnati Zoo shooting

A survey of 25 leading U.S. hospitals shows that "Harambe," the name of the gorilla killed by Cincinnati Zoo officials to save the life of a four-year-old boy, is the most popular name in America for baby boys. In second and third place are misspellings of the name, "Harambey" and "Harambie."

Meanwhile, Democratic Party presidential candidate Sen. Bernie Sanders introduced legislation to make May 29th a national holiday in honor of the slain gorilla, "Harambe Day." Sanders tearfully told reporters that Harambe "could have been my son."

This morning, thousands of gorillas marched in protest outside the Cincinnati Zoo. Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump called the protesting gorillas "paid agitators" and "thugs."

"These are very bad gorillas, very dishonest gorillas," Trump said at a news conference in New York. "They're slime. Believe me, believe me."

Trump claimed that billionaire liberal activist George Soros paid to bus the gorilla protesters to Cincinnati.

Gorillas protest Cincinnati Zoo shooting


Thousands of gorillas marched in protest outside the Cincinnati Zoo today after zookeepers shot a 450-pound western lowland gorilla with a rifle to save the life of a 3-year-old boy who had slipped into the gorilla's enclosure.

Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump called the protesting gorillas "paid agitators" and "thugs."

"These are very bad gorillas, very bad," Trump told a rally in Anaheim. "They're slime. Believe me. Believe me."

Trump claimed that billionaire liberal activist George Soros paid to bus the gorilla protesters to Cincinnati.

Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders sided with the protesting gorillas. Sanders tearfully told reporters that Harambe, the deceased gorilla, "could have been my son."

Hillary Clinton's spokesman Bradleys Roadhouse said Mrs. Clinton would have no comment "until she sees the polls on this issue."

President Obama was more guarded in his remarks, telling reporters he "didn't know all the facts yet," but that the zookeepers "acted stupidly."

Scientist 'thankful' our skin isn't made of sponge material when it rains

Dr. Noah Swayne,
Scientist
Guest Commentary by Scientist Noah Swayne - Have you ever thought about how lucky we are to have skin? I mean from a SCIENTIFIC perspective? 

Have you ever considered what would happen if our bodies were covered with sponge-like material instead? 

Well, I have! 

In a heavy rain, our bodies would absorb so much water that our weight would nearly double. We would collapse on the floor, immobilized in a wet puddle due to the added weight. We would need to get a (dried out!) friend to squeeze the water out of us just so we could stand up and walk around the room. 

So the next time someone suggests it would be "better" if our bodies were covered with sponge material instead of skin, just point out these simple SCIENTIFIC facts!

Tools lost in space turn up in old ‘Star Trek’ episode

CAPE CANAVERAL-NASA confirmed that tools that accidentally floated away from a Shuttle astronaut into space in 2011 have been positively identified as the same tools used in an episode of  “Star Trek” broadcast in 1967.

Prof. Noah Swayne of Hoboken University explained that objects lost in space "frequently turn up in old television programs that are set in the future" due to a space-time continuum scientists are unable to explain. The most famous example of this is the robot’s head in the old “Lost in Space” series--it was actually a light fixture from the men’s room of the International Space Station.

Man uses 13,000-year-old tools to fix Pinto


PITTSBURGH - Landscapers digging a fish pond in Noah Swayne’s front yard last week found a cache of 13,000-year-old tools buried by ice age hunter-gatherers.

Swayne immediately grabbed the rock-like instruments and went to work on his long-idled ‘73 Pinto. Now he claims that the tools are the only ones capable of fixing the old car.

“I’d given up on the damn thing,” said Swayne, “but with these tools, I was able to fix everything in about a half hour.”

Archaeologists are urging Swayne to donate the tools to a museum. 

“All in good time,” said Swayne. “I can’t give them away for as long as I own the Pinto.”

Judge Wapner makes Trump's list of possible Supreme Court picks

Trump: "I have always been impressed with Judge Wapner's ability to resolve cases quickly--15 minutes or less, including commercials."