PITTSBURGH - Pittsburgh blog guru Mike Woycheck, 77, is widely regarded as the godfather of blogging, an almost mythical international figure among the blogging set.
"People act like I invented blogging," barks Woycheck with his customary modesty. "Well, I didn't invent blogging. Let's just say I made it what it is today, that's all."
Woycheck needs more than 50 full-time employees to run his massive searchable directory of weblogs called Pittsburgh Webloggers, located at http://www.pghbloggers.org/. But the words "godfather" and "guru" are rarely heard among the mostly twenty-something year-olds who comprise his work force. They have other words to describe Woycheck, including "martinet," "dictator," and "slavedriver."
"Generation 'Y'? More like 'generation ZZZ,' barely awake" bellowed Woycheck from his office, the third booth at Finnegan's Wake on Pittsburgh's North Shore. "The damn young men primp and preen like homecoming queens, with their little earings and caps on backwards and their moisturized skin and who knows what-all is pierced," says Woycheck, working himself up to a lather. "The damn boys smell nicer than the girls, which is sick, sick, sick! And don't even get me started on the girls" he screamed, kicking the chair at the table next to his for emphasis. Spittle spewed from his mouth.
Although Woycheck refuses even to go near his own work-force, that doesn't mean he leaves them to their own devices. Every employee's computer is equipped with the interactive software he designed, Intellismack™, that brings them Mike Woycheck, all day, all the time -- "trash talking" to motivate.
"You dare type a personal note on your computer during work time, Intellismack™ trash talks you," Woycheck explained. "You misspell a word, or you violate a rule of grammar, Intellismack™ calls you every name in the book, attacking your intelligence and your gender identity. See, these cretins grew up on professional wrestling so they ought to be used to it."
Ironically, until last week one of Woycheck's employees was professional wrestling legend and Pittsburgh native Bruno Sammartino. But Sammartino quit after being "trash talked" by Intellismack™. "I told Mike [Woycheck] the same thing I told [Vince] McMahon [Chairman of World Wrestling Entertainment]. This kind of 'trash talk' is a symptom of what's ruining the sport. That's why I refuse to be admitted to the [Professional Wrestling] Hall of Fame."
Intellismack™ told Sammartino to go to hell, fast, and it even gave him a little electric shock in order to "motivate" him to pack his things and get out.
