Anchor David Johnson Broadcasts Urgent Plea for Help, Hair Products
PITTSBURGH - A sudden winter storm caught forecasters by surprise last night, rendering many roads too hazardous to travel, and creating a crisis at a local television station. Shortly after 8 p.m., NBC affiliate WPXI broke in to regularly scheduled programming to announce that the station was completely surrounded by snow and that employees had no way of leaving.
A crawler across the bottom of the screen announced that some of the on-air talent had become so desperate for food that they were resorting to cannibalism and debating the best way to prepare Channel Eleven reporter Alan Jennings for human consumption. Anchorman David Johnson asked for the prayers of all viewers, and urged local government officials to ready plans for an emergency airdrop of badly needed hair-care products. “Things are getting desperate, folks,” he warned. “A little more than an hour ago, I saw some gray.”
