MAYOR RAVENSTAHL DIAGNOSED WITH ACNE, DOCTORS CALL CONDITION SOCIALLY DEVASTATING, TREATABLE

PITTSBURGH - City of Pittsburgh residents were dealt another shocking blow yesterday when a spokesman for Mayor Luke Ravenstahl confirmed that the newest, youngest mayor in the history of the city was suffering from acne. Dick Skrinjar, former spokesman for the late Mayor Bob O’Connor serving in the same capacity for Mayor Ravenstahl, said the new mayor was "resting comfortably, surrounded by family and friends." He added that the Mayor was "responding beautifully" to the "intensive, relentless application of hot compresses to the infected area."

Dr. David Corbett, Chief of Dermatological Operations at the UPMC Center for Early Pimple Detection, met with reporters this morning. "Mayor Ravenstahl became concerned early Saturday when he noticed a series of highly sensitive, inflamed areas on his skin while shaving." Dr. Corbett refused to specify the exact areas of the face affected, citing privacy concerns and the wishes of the Ravenstahl family. "Mayor Ravenstahl spent a good deal of time in front of the mirror throughout the day inspecting his face," Dr. Corbett said. "Matters came to a head Saturday night when he was joined in the bathroom by members of his administration. After much debate, the Mayor and his advisers determined that the blemishes marring his youthful good looks were not going away, and he admitted himself to our facility." Dr. Corbett said he believes Mayor Ravenstahl’s acne may have developed as a result of the "tremendous anxiety and stress" he was dealing with in his new position. "This is a potentially devastating social condition that could have a profound impact on our new mayor’s self esteem," said Corbett. "But we’re optimistic that with proper dietary restrictions and round-the-clock pore cleansing, the Mayor will be able to beat this. As long as he doesn’t pick at it."