"CAN YOU SAY 'TRAFFIC NIGHTMARE?' ASKS PORT AUTHORITY SPOKESMAN BOB GROVEPITTSBURGH - The Port Authority of Make-Believe begins work this morning on a three year, fifty million dollar renovation of the Neighborhood of Make-Believe Trolley Line.
The project, which will be done in three phases, involves replacing overhead wires as well as a complete overhaul of track.
"Anyone looking to take a ride into the Neighborhood of Make-Believe on this line should expect significant delays," said Port Authority spokesman Bob Grove. "In the meantime, you may want to consider alternate routes." Grove suggested drugs and alcohol as an affordable way to reach the same destination.
The line was built in the late sixties, and has remained virtually unchanged since. "We’ve had engineers and inspectors from the Federal Highway Safety Commission all over us about this line for at least a decade," said Grove. "Basically, they’re concerned about the safety hazard of pedestrians going under the line to visit the castle of King Friday XIII."
Several people, including Chef Don Brockett and Officer Francois Clemens, have been struck by the Trolley. Both men sustained minor abrasions.
The work should be finished "sometime next year," said Grove. "A lot of it depends on the ability to obtain Make-Believe funding from the legislature." There is a possibility of a regional tax for Western Pennsyvlania counties to pay for the Make-Believe renovations."
This is the first of a series of projects planned for the Neighborhood. Starting in the spring of 2010, work is scheduled to begin on the Museum Go-Round Connector, a one billion dollar extension of the Trolley line that includes a tunnel between a tree inhabited by X the Owl and the factory of Cornflake S. Pecially.
