PITTSBURGH – Three young male elephants at the Pittsburgh Zoo are becoming increasingly irritated by the dominant male’s constant bragging about impregnating the local females. Jackson is known to have fathered six offspring during his tenure in Highland Park.“At first, we were really happy for him that he had some kids,” Timbuk, one of the young males, said. “But now that he has both Savannah and Moja pregnant at the same time, there is just no living with him. He trumpets all the time -- and he makes sure he does it six times. He’ll stamp his foot -- and he makes sure he does it six times. And now he’s putting us into a headlock, giving us noogies, and saying, 'Who’s a daddy? Who’s a daddy?' It is really annoying.”
None of the younger males is a father yet, and they admit jealousy may be behind some of their complaints. “We’re not geeky and we don’t stink, but the females won’t give us the time of day,” Timbuk said. “It’s all 'Jackson this,' and 'Jackson that.' It would be nice if we could just get a chance to get to know the girls and show them we could be good mates. Or at least good one-night stands.”
The young males have heard that Jackson might be shipped out to Somerset County. “We have no idea where that is, but we’re hoping he’ll be out of here soon,” Timbuk said. “None of us wants to die a virgin.”
