LAS VEGAS, Nev. -- Comic legend Jerry Lewis joined friends and entertainers this Labor Day weekend for his 42nd annual Telethon, supposedly to benefit the Muscular Dystrophy Association. While the entire world knows that muscular dystrophy was cured fifteen years ago, Lewis trudges on year after year, oblivious to the news. “I’ll never wave the white flag in the fight against muscular dystrophy so long as it still exists,” Lewis said yesterday.
Lewis thinks the telethon raises tens of millions of dollars annually. In fact, the pledges are all made up. There is no Muscular Dystrophy Association, and no one is researching for a cure. "There's no need for any of that any more," said telethon sidekick Ed McMahon. "But Jerry thinks there is."
"We tried to tell him [about the cure] when it happened back in '92, but it just didn't sink in," explained McMahon. "I kept repeating it over and over, shaking him by the shoulders, but all I got was a blank stare. We decided never to bring it up again because we figured it would kill him." McMahon shakes his head sadly. "This entire telethon is a charade to keep a wonderful man happy. In his mind, he's helping a lot of people."