NEW YORK - Atkins Nutritionals Inc., the diet company, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy on Sunday, two years after its founder, Dr. Robert Atkins (left) died, supposedly from injuries suffered in a fall.
In documents filed in connection with the bankruptcy, the tragic truth about Dr. Atkins is revealed. Atkins did not die in a fall. He died because he put too much faith in his own wacky diet theories and gorged himself to death on bacon.
"Bob went from a trim 155 pound man at Christmas 2002 to a 614 pound monster at the time of his death" less than four months later, said rival dietician Jenny Craig. "The funeral director told me they couldn't mask the smell of bacon seeping from his skin. Bob was going to show us all how smart he was. Well, he showed us, alright."
So massive had Atkins become, it required 14 pallbearers to haul his body to a specially rigged flatbed truck.
Ms. Craig explained, "The bacon didn't kill him, it was the pride."
