CARBOLIC FLASHBACK: DEMI MOORE ACCIDENTALLY MARRIES RING BEARER

HOLLYWOOD - In the mix-up of all Hollywood mix-ups, Demi Moore was supposed to remarry ex-husband Bruce Willis last week. but ended up marrying the ring bearer, young Ashton Kutcher.

"It was the damnest thing," said Bertuska Somnambula, High Priestess of the Kabbalah religion who presided at the ceremony. "I said 'Do you take this woman . . .,' and Ashton piped up, 'I do.' Well, in the Kabbalah religion, that's the end of everything. She's his forever."

In a brief interview, Moore told reporters that being married to Ashton requires major adjustments. "Like I had to go out and buy him a car seat."