HOMESTEAD, Pa - Loews Cinema in Homestead has pulled the controversial film Capote starring Philip Seymour Hoffman following a melee that erupted at the cappuccino counter of the cineplex last night between rival gangs of well-to-do Squirrel Hill.
Following the 9 p.m. showing of Capote, the self-styled "Hebrew Homies," pictured above, a vicious, devil-may-care band of Taylor Allderdice High youths whose membership criteria includes a grade point average of 3.5 or higher, "got into it" with their arch-rivals, the "Jets," a horde of good-looking Caucasian toughs with no discernible ethnic affiliation who dance, sing show tunes and occasionally model for Abercrombie and Fitch.
The fight apparently was triggered by the insistence of one of the Homies that Truman Capote, not Harper Lee, was the principal author of To Kill a Mockingbird. Tempers flared when members of the Jets, in turn, insisted that Dill, the friend of "Scout" and Jem in Mockingbird, a character allegedly inspired by Capote, did not evidence overt signs of homosexuality in the novel.
"Have you even read the [expletive] book, dude?" shouted Aaron Feinstein at his hunky rivals.
One of the theater's Concession Associates, Reg Henry, was an eyewitness to the fracas. "I was explaining to several of the 'Hebrews' that for 20 cents more, Loews would give them 16 additional gallons of popcorn. Well, then we started haggling over the price when -- wham -- the Jets decked them from behind. It was terrible -- yarmulkes flying everywhere!"
Matty Alou, manager of the theater, said that Capote has been inciting strong emotions since it opened. "This fight was nothing," he said. "The most vicious are the CMU gangs. Last night, we had one Chinese kid beat another over the head with a chess board. And believe me, that's not easy to do when you're using a laptop."
