BRIDGEPORT - Newspapers heiress, socialite and one-time kidnapping victim of the Symbionese Liberation Army Patty Hearst was kidnapped again last night, this time by members of Islamic Jihad in Connecticut. Hearst and her husband, Bernard Shaw, had just finished dinner when four men in black ski masks brandishing automatic weapons came to their frontdoor.
"Our daughter answered the bell and told us about the four men with the guns. Patty gave me a puzzled look. Neither of us were expecting visitors," said Shaw. "I went to the door, and they asked me if they could use our bathroom. I remember showing them to the powder room, then everything went dark. I feel so guilty. When I woke up, I thought to mysefl, 'Oh, well, it must be the SLA, trying to recapture some of the old magic -- you know, like those politicians who want us to go to the moon again." But it quickly became apparent that the SLA was not involved.
Hearst, who has lived an exemplary life as a mother and wife since her release from prison in 1979, sent a tape recorded message to the Bridgeport Police Station assuring them that "she was in good hands, that she was thinking about changing her name, and that she would probably have to start committing crimes again until the crusaders leave Iraq." Shaw was at a loss for an explanation. "Before we got married, the FBI told us the statistical probability of Patty being re-kidnapped was six billion to one. I don't know what it is about my wife that makes terrorists want to abduct her."
