AS "THE ISTHMUS"PITTSBURGH - At the meeting of the Pittsburgh School Board last night, the board members expected Superintendent Mark Roosevelt, great-grandson of President Theodore Roosevelt, to discuss the possibility of closing additional schools. That's exactly what Roosevelt started to do but after a few sentences he paused and stared at that Board members, then he tossed down his prepared remarks and shouted, "BULLY! BULLY!"
Roosevelt launched into a spellbinding, 40-minute tirade that implored the Board to authorize construction of a canal through downtown Pittsburgh and to "bust the trusts," thumping the lectern repeatedly to emphasize his words.
Board members exchanged perplexed looks while Roosevelt explained that two-fifths of the nation's manufacturing output is controlled by a handful of trusts.
"What the hell's a trust," whispered board member Mark Brentley to board member Randall Taylor. Taylor shrugged. "Who cares," he whispered nervously. "This man is nuts."
Roosevelt told the Board that the most important issue facing the city schools is "that Pittsburgh doesn't have a canal." He unveiled a large diagram of a canal running along the path of the Boulevard of the Allies in downtown Pittsburgh. A canal, Roosevelt explained, would "cut through" Pittsburgh's downtown, which he repeatedly referred to as "the isthmus," in order to "connect our three great rivers with our two great oceans." Roosevelt noted without explanation that the YMCA swimming pool on the Boulevard of the Allies could be used as a "drainage basin." Roosevelt cautioned that construction of a canal likely would bring with it a wave of yellow fever and malaria.
At the conclusion of his remarks board members were on their feet shouting questions, but Roosevelt had already donned a pith helmet and was headed out the door. "Africa calls," he shouted as he ran outside to join a waiting caravan.
