AUGUSTA - PGA pros were hopping mad today when officials of the Masters Tournament unveiled significant changes to fabled Augusta National Golf Course that will make the nearly-impossible course even more difficult. Among the alterations are the addition of miniature windmills on five greens and ferocious-looking faux dinosaurs scattered throughout the course. On the treacherous 12th, when the ball enters the hole it will disappear down a pipe and shoot out onto a lower green surface. With his deep voice and heavy southern accent, Masters Chairman Bradleys Roadhouse explained the changes are an attempt to appeal to a younger generation that has "all but abandoned golf in favor of video games and illicit, filthy sex with their underage partners."
Tiger Woods, for one, finds some of the alterations encouraging, most notably the rule-change where a hole-in-one on the 18th entitles the golfer to either a free game or a dish of ice cream, in his sole discretion.
