WASHINGTON - In a rare show of unity, the news directors of all three local network affiliates have submitted a joint statement to Congress urging the immediate confirmation of Pittsburgh native General Michael Hayden as head of the Central Intelligence Agency.
KDKA news director John Verrilli said the statement was being submitted to the Senate Intelligence Committee in the hope that the matter would be resolved prior to the completion of the May ratings "sweeps" period.
A copy of the statement was made available to The Carbolic Smoke Ball. It reads, in part "that the hard scrabble childhood of General Hayden growing up on the North Side of Pittsburgh provides local stations with opportunities to present compelling visual images to our viewers that would create interest in what is otherwise a non-story."
It goes on to cite Hayden's youth football days, where he was coached by the venerable Dan Rooney, as a critical factor determining his qualifications for the position."Hayden's connection to Rooney, however distant, gives him a connection to the Pittsburgh Steelers, however tenuous, and that provides us with a crucial local angle to justify fifteen seconds of broadcast time."
All three news directors have promised wall-to-wall coverage of our "hometown spy" should Hayden be confirmed. WTAE is promoting a one-hour interview with Sally Wiggin, teasing viewers by promising to show them "the question that made General Hayden cry."
KDKA human interest reporter Dave Crawley has composed an epic poem celebrating Hayden, and WPXI is donating live, pinpoint Doppler Eleven radar to the Federal Government so that the nominee can be informed when severe weather is imminent. Confirmation hearings are scheduled to begin next week.
