PITTSBURGH - Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, 24, announced today that he is engaged to be married to Rosacea Fleishman, 22, daughter of 62-year old Martha Fleishman, the woman who nearly killed him when her Chrysler New Yorker struck his motorcycle on the south side of the Armstrong Tunnels on June 12. The wedding will take place this Saturday at 2 p.m. Mrs. Fleishman made the announcement in a press release: "I am happily surprised that Mr. Ben Roethlisberger survived the injuries he sustained following my car's unfortunate collision with him. I will be even more happily surprised if he survives one month with my daughter, Rosacea, or as her father and I call her, 'The Princess.'"
The happy couple met in the hospital following the accident and immediately fell in love "when Rosey fell over my bed pan," Ben recalls. In choosing the venue for their nuptials, the couple had only one site in mind: the intersection on Second Avenue where the Armstrong Tunnels meet the 10th Street Bridge -- the site of Big Ben's near fatal accident with the mother of his bride-to-be. The City of Pittsburgh has agreed to close the intersection for the fifteen minute ceremony. The newlyweds will honeymoon in Detroit, scene of the Steelers' Super Bowl victory last February.
During a free-wheeling press conference this morning, Roethlisberger revealed that he is still a virgin. Rosacea chimed in: "I'm looking forward to the wedding night when I can finally see his Big Ben." She paused, then added: "I'll let you know if he really should be wearing number 7." Ben even made light of his accident when he joked with his future mother-in-law. "Ma, do me one favor, will you? Drive Rosey and me to the airport after the ceremony. I won't feel safe driving myself knowing you're on the road."
