Dear Mr. Roethlisberger:
I address you by your formal name because it offends me that persons whom you've never met unilaterally arrogate to themselves the right to call you "Ben" or even "Big Ben."
The news media in Pittsburgh and far beyond has used your misfortune as fuel to propel its cynical, all-knowing view of the world. Its membership has chastised you for your putative "stupidity" and supposed "immaturity."
I write to let you know that not everyone shares their haughty glee and to offer you some advice.
This unfortunate accident -- which occurred, incidentally, because a 62-year old Squirrel Hill woman pulled into your lane of traffic in violation of the Pennsylvania Vehicle Code -- obviously has you shaken up. But as soon as you are able, you must purchase another bike (and it should be a fast, Japanese bike), and without wearing a motorcycle helmet, you must head back to the intersection of Second Avenue and the 10th Street Bridge where the accident occurred, and you must cut it loose, full throttle. You must ride back and forth over that spot for hours, until you run out of gas. "Dangerous activity" prohibition in your Steelers contract be damned.
You see, you are a champion, a breed set apart. You are superior to -- if I may borrow a phrase from Vice President Agnew -- those nattering nabobs of negativism in the "news media," and you must completely ignore them.
Champions do not allow adversity to derail them for long. When they fall, they get right back up on their bikes, and they head to Second Avenue, without a helmet.
The Hon. Rufus Peckham,
Founder, "The Carbolic Smoke Ball"
