MR. NUTTING WANTS TO MAKE PNC PARK OUTING A GAY EXPERIENCE

PITTSBURGH - Last Wednesday, G. Ogden Nutting, the formerly reclusive controlling owner of the Pittsburgh Pirates, came out -- to PNC Park, that is, surprising members of the local media by prancing through the press box, throwing handfuls of confetti and delivering a non-stop barrage of bawdy jokes laced with doube entendres. Nutting even jumped into the lap of shocked Tribune Review Pirates beat writer Rob Rossi and asked him, "Don’t you think we need more switch hitters on this team?”

Nutting now says he doesn't intend to slink back into hiding but is prepared to move ahead full throttle to put his mark on his team. Nutting said that the Pirates would experiment with new uniforms. "On the road, the players will wear special patches to show the world who we are." Nutting hopes that the placement of the patches will draw attention to what he called "the team's most valuable assets."

Nutting said it is his dream that every boy who comes to PNC Park will want to come out -- to PNC Park again.