FINALLY, THE GLAMOUR OF ATLANTIC CITY COMES TO THE ETERNAL CITY
ROME - Donald Trump says he wants to bring to the Eternal City the same "glitz and sizzle" he brought to Atlantic City by putting a "state of the art" dome on the Roman Coliseum.
"The Coliseum is probably the second greatest sports venue in the history of the world, behind the [Madison Square] Garden, of course." But, Trump cautioned, "I'll need to air condition it before I can book any serious boxing matches there. Which means it definitely needs a dome."
Trump says the Coliseum will need lots of work to bring it into the 21st century. "Did you know that there is no Jumbotron in that arena?" he asked.
But the Coliseum isn't the only Roman attraction Trump wants to upgrade. He also has his sights set on the Vatican's Sistine Chapel. "The minute I walked in there and saw that magnificent artwork, I naturally said to myself, 'This room would make a great Cheesecake Factory.' Of course, I'd have to tear out a wall to build the kitchen into the Vatican Museum."
Trump turned playfully to his young wife, Melania Knauss. "Let's go back to our hotel room, and I'll show you the glory that was ancient Rome." Mrs. Trump replied, "I think you mean the ruins."