FRED ROGERS TO BE DISINTERRED FROM LATROBE GRAVE AND REBURIED IN NEWARK PER HIS WISH TO FOLLOW ROLLING ROCK "WHEREVER IT MIGHT GO"
LATROBE, Pa. - Just days after the Rolling Rock beer trucks barreled out of this sleepy Western Pennsylvania hamlet for their new home in Newark, Latrobe got more bad news today. Legendary golfer Arnold Palmer announced to shocked reporters in an impromptu press conference that he, too, is moving "immediately" to Newark. "I know people always thought I stayed here [in Latrobe] because I was a down-to-earth guy and all that, and I confess I never disabused them of that notion," Palmer said. "The fact of the matter is, it's the fresh beer that kept me here all this time. This town ain't got nothing without that beer, brother."Ironically, within minutes of Palmer's press conference, Jim Towey, President of Saint Vincent College in Latrobe, issued a statement that he is in discussions to move the school "lock stock and barrel" to Newark in time for the 2008 academic year. "Without the [Rolling Rock] beer, there's really no reason for us to be out here in the middle of nowhere," Towey explained. Steelers patriarch Dan Rooney said that Towey's announcement was "good news," and that the Steelers' training camp will follow Saint Vincent to Newark. Rooney asked this reporter to quote him exactly for one parting shot at Latrobe: "Tell your readers that without the beer, we all hate Latrobe. Hate it."
President Towey also announced that he is assisting the family of Fred Rogers to have the children's TV icon disinterred from his Latrobe grave and reburied in Newark in accordance with Mr. Rogers' request that his body follow Rolling Rock Beer wherever it might go.
