PIRATES REFUSE TO ELEVATE MINOR LEAGUER WHO CONSISTENTLY THROWS IN THE 130's

ALTOONA - Wardell Starling, a 6'4" righthanded pitcher, toils for the Pirates double A minor league club The Altoona Curve despite consistently throwing more than 130 miles per hour, some thirty miles faster than the fastest pitches ever recorded in professional baseball. The Curve's insurance company insists that Starling's catching place a metal plate inside his glove to prevent serious injury. Starling also has the least walks of any starting pitcher in double A baseball.

When a photographer for this news source took a photograph of Starling throwing in a game at Altoona with the speed gun aimed at him (above), the machine showed a speed of 136 miles per hour. As soon as the picture was snapped, Bob Nutting, son of the principal owner of the Pittsburgh Pirates G. Ogden Nutting, began shouting profanities at the photographer and ran after him demanding that he surrender the photorgraph.

When a reporter for this news source asked Nutting why Starling had not been elevated to pitch for the pitching-starved Pittsburgh Pirates, Nutting insisted it was because Starling "hasn't yet mastered the fastball."

The Nuttings have been repeatedly criticized by Pirates fans this year for what some have charged is a lack of commitment to win.