ACTOR WHO PORTRAYS ARCHBISHOP DONALD WUERL IN ALL HIS PUBLIC APPEARANCES CALLS IT QUITS

WASHINGTON - The actor who portrays Archbishop Donald Wuerl in all of Wuerl's public appearances is calling it quits after thirty-three years. Nathan Birnbaum, an orthodox Jew, has been the public face of the man recently named Archbishop of Washington, D.C. since the real Wuerl discovered him acting in summer stock theater in the Catskills in the early 1970's. Birnbaum had planned to retire earlier this year but stayed on several additional months to help ease Wuerl into his new position.

The real Archbishop Wuerl, who resembles actor Jack Klugman, said that he is auditioning new actors to play him, including tough-guy actor Joe Pesci. Wuerl said that he's "impressed with Pesci's passion," but added that "he'll need to tone down the bad language a little if he wants to play me."