PESHAWAR - Osama Bin Laden and Dr. Ayman al-Zawahiri will tour the Himalayan Dinner Theatre Circuit for a six-week run this fall in an Al Qaeda production of Neil Simon’s "The Odd Couple." In a videotape broadcast on the Al-Jazeera network yesterday, Bin Laden and al-Zawahiri exchanged playful barbs with one another about the play, their own similarities to the characters they portray, and the destruction of Western civilization. "Ladies and gentleman," said Bin Laden, jerking his thumb towards al-Zawahiri, "I think you know how much we’ve enjoyed working together through the years. We’ve been looking for an excuse to get in front of a live audience again, and the Zionist playwright with the deft comic touch has given us the perfect vehicle. Believe me when I tell you, we’re declaring Holy War – on your funny bone!" Both men flashed broad grins. Bin Laden continued: "Ayman is a consummate professional, even if he is the original Oscar Madison!" At this, al-Zawahiri gave Bin Laden’s forearm a gentle slap, imploring him to "just stop, stop it right now." Looking directly into the camera, al-Zawahiri said he was so desperate to work again, he would have played Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof if Bin Laden had asked. "Anything to get him to take me out of this cave!" he joked. "On a serious note," he added. "I am honored to play a part made famous by Jack Klugman. It was Mr. Klugman’s work as Quincy, Medical Examiner, that inspired me to become a doctor."
The tour, which begins the end of the month, will conclude in mid-November. Al-Qaeda members receive a ten percent discount on tickets when presenting photo identification at the box office.
