"OSWALD" BUILDS UP STEAM IN CARRIBBEAN AND HEADS FOR KENNEDY COMPOUND IN FLORIDA
PALM BEACH, Fla - For the first time in history, the National Hurricane Center has run out of names for hurricanes so it must resort to a list of heretofore "forbidden names" that Hurricane Center officials hoped never would be used. As a result, the next storm on the horizon is Hurricane Lee Harvey Oswald, the same name as the assassin of President John F. Kennedy.
As of last night, Hurricane Oswald was building up steam in the Carribbean and appeared headed on a straight path for Palm Beach Florida, the situs of the winter compound of the Kennedy clan. U.S. Senator Edward M. Kennedy said, "Oh, no, Oswald is coming for us again."
In another irony, the Director of the Hurricane Center is named Jack Ruby, the same name as the gunman who killed Lee Harvey Oswald two days after President Kennedy's assassination. The current Ruby said he will take all reasonable precautions to keep the citizens of Palm Beach out of harm's way. But Senator Kennedy is skeptical. "Unlike the previous Jack Ruby, let's hope this one takes appropriate action before the harm occurs."
After Hurricane Oswald, according to the Hurricane Center, there will be Hurricane Timothy McVeigh; Hurricane Adolf Hitler; and Hurricane Enron.