HOLLYWOOD - CNN talk-show host Larry King celebrated his one-millionth uncritical review of a film this weekend with a party that included ten thousand of his closest celebrity friends. The cable gab-meister, known for his positive assessments of all things Hollywood, told the Carbolic Smoke Ball entertainment correspondent, "I'm all about the dish, but in my business I've got to avoid the pan."King's one-millionth celluloid endorsement reached newspapers in blurb form this past Friday, after he watched the first five minutes of an advance screening of Phil Joanou's newest offering, Gridiron Gang.
King, as a rule, uses one of two declarative sentences for each review. "My standard approach is either, "I loved this movie," or "This is a terrific film." When asked whether or not he ever wished to say more in his reviews, King declined. "I'm a word economist," he said. "Ernie Hemingway taught me that."
Citing the historic nature of his one millionth opportunity to deliver an enthusiastic appraisal for the public record, King pulled out all the stops. "I absolutely loved this movie, Gridiron Gang. This movie, Gridiron Gang, is a terrific film." King's words appeared in ten thousand newspapers and trade publications around the world within hours, but they extracted quite a cost. "I am exhausted," said King. "Writing that review took a lot out of me."
When this reporter inquired if King could recall ever dispensing a critical opinion, King became reflective. "I guess it was about six or seven wives ago," he began, before correcting himself. "I mean years ago. I trashed the first Mission Impossible. My verdict: "I liked this film." Jerry Bruckheimer called me up and yelled at me for half an hour. I told him Jerry, I've got my integrity. He laughed, and hung up. This is a tough business."
