WASHINGTON - An FBI study concluded that of the 7,649 hate crimes reported to the FBI last year, the great majority were driven by loathing and detestation. "Surpisingly," said FBI Director Robert Mueller, "very few hate crimes are fueled by tenderness and affection."The FBI said that the statistics show a 6% increase in loathing crimes and a 9% increase in detestation crimes over the previous year. "The reason this is good news is because there are too many senseless crimes nowadays committed by perfect strangers without the slightest hateful feeling for the victim," Mueller said. "We can only hope that these hate crime statistics herald a return to the good old days, when crime was committed by people who knew, and had reason to hate, the victim," he said. "For example, a wife lying-in-wait to kill her cheating husband. In days gone by, there was a real incentive to be nice to people: if you did something to tick off a loved one, you got blasted."
"Unfortunately, today you can walk out of your house and get a bullet between the eyes for no reason at all, fired by a total stranger," lamented Mueller. "A renaissance of traditional values is long overdue in this country. It's time to get crime off the streets and back in the kitchen where it belongs. Maybe, just maybe, this is the start of that."
