WASHINGTON - President Bush announced today that he is lobbying the United Nations to put the kibosh on Iran's efforts to woo the Ferrara Pan Candy Company to build a plant in Tehran for the production of the popular spicy Atomic FireBall candy.
"For many years, Iran has been bent on acquiring the know-how to enrich uranium and produce nu-kyi-ler candy," the President said. "This we will not allow."
Bradleys Roadhouse, President of the Ferrara Pan Candy Company, said that not only does his company have no intention of building a plant in Iran, but the process for making Atomic FireBalls "has nothing whatsoever" in common with the technology to enrich uranium.
"On the other hand," Roadhouse confided without elaboration, "if Mahmoud Ahmadinejad ever got the idea to build a Lemonheads factory, I'd say the free world would have something to be very concerned about."