PITTSBURGH - A mysterious young superhero in a flamboyant yellow, red and blue costume darted from the sky Wednesday morning to intercept a city-issued Chevy Impala being driven by suspended city operations director Dennis J. Regan as it was pulling into Regan's driveway on Reynolds Street. The flying boy ripped open the driver's door and forcibly removed Regan, then he lifted the car into the air with one hand and flew it to a city parking lot in the strip district. "Suspended city employees have no right to be driving city-issued Impalas," the boy yelled to a stunned Regan. Shocked onlookers applauded and Regan ran into his house.Earlier in the day, the same costumed superhero hung Christmas ornaments on the highest branches of the giant Christmas tree in front of the City-County building. Later, he was seen comforting a sick falcon perched outside the 38th floor of the Gulf Tower.
"We don't know who he is behind that tight, sexy costume," said City Councilwoman Twanda Carlisle, "but we know we need him."
Council President Doug Shields was less awed by the mysterious wonder boy. "Isn't funny how we never see Superboy in the same place as Mayor Ravenstahl?" he asked suspiciously.
