"[T]he city's equivalent of The Onion" (The New York Times) and "[o]ne of America's great Web sites" (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) on the highest rated radio show in Pittsburgh.Here are the stories covered on our most recent appearance on The Morning Show:
*With his lead narrowing in the upcoming Senatorial election, Bob Casey checked himself into UPMC for a charisma augmentation procedure. Casey was admitted after complaining that he felt dull and ordinary.
*In the latest Senatorial debate, Rick Santorum tried to boost his low approval rating among gay voters by saying, quote, “Would it help if I admitted that at this very moment, I am picturing Bob Casey without a stitch of clothing, and I really like what I see?”
*President Bush said he will seek U.N. sanctions to stop North Korea from building an Atomic Fireball candy factory. The President vowed to prevent the proliferation of candies of mass destruction.
*People who need people – SHUT THE “F” UP – are the luckiest people in the world, sang Barbra Streisand at Madison Square Garden, in an outburst that elicited frenzied applause. Thereafter Streisand sprinkled the “F” word throughout every song, including “F-ing memories, like the corners of my mind.”
*The United Nations has adopted a resolution to stop the international sex slave trade. It’s first target: the Congressional page program.
*Ed Benedict, the chief animator behind the Flintstones, died at the age of 94. On the half-mile ride to the cemetery, the hearse passed the same crudely-drawn rock house and cactus 47 times.
*The Kansas City Chiefs credit the idea for last Sunday’s hair-pulling tackle of Troy Polamalu to the work of a special scout assigned to the women’s roller derby league. Next week the Chiefs are going to try bra snapping.
*Happy news: Entertainer Madonna has adopted Mayor Luke Ravenstahl.
*The Pirates shored up their starting rotation by signing the T-ball pitcher who intentionally threw at an autistic boy in response to his coach’s offer of $25. General Manager Dave Littlefield said this is exactly what the Bucs need, a pitcher with pinpoint control and a willingness to follow directions even if they are repugnant to all standards of decency.
*Coach Cowher credits obese, shirtless men in the crowd as critical to Sunday’s win over the Chiefs. The coach said, quote, “If those fat slobs can climb out of their recliners to root for us, we have an obligation to win for them.”
