PITTSBURGH - Ever since Sunday, April 2, the day U.S. postal worker Bruce Murray and most of the rest of America switched to daylight savings time and lost an hour of sleep, Murray has suffered from a continuous stream of ailments, including acute headaches, chronic lethargy and bouts of severe depression. Since then, Murray has been involved in no fewer than 13 vehicular mishaps and has accidentally chopped off two fingers. "I haven't been right since I lost that hour," said Murray. "My basement is filled to the ceiling with mail that I just haven't been up to delivering, all because of 'daylight savings time.'" Murray's words drip with derision for the system mandated by the Federal Uniform Time Act of 1966. "In fact, I think I'm wanted for a hit-and-run in West Virginia or someplace," Murray chuckled.
This morning, Murray finally got that hour back as daylight savings time ended. Overnight, the maladies disappeared, and Murray is his old self again. "I feel just great," he said.
Dozens of social security beneficiaries, among countless others on Murray's mail route, will be relieved to learn that after a much-needed vacation he plans to try to catch up on the seven months of backlogged mail strewn about his basement.
"I'll be just fine until next April," said Murray. "Unfortunately, that's when the whole damn thing starts all over again."
