PITTSBURGH - The Funny Bone at Station Square is cutting short John Kerry's planned two-week engagement after just one performance because he kept botching the jokes, according to an inside source. The club offered the patrons who attended Kerry's lone show an apology because the performance "did not meet our usual standards of excellence."
All of Kerry's jokes were intended to be at President Bush's expense, but the senator misread them and ended up insulting members of the U.S. armed services, immigrants, women, blacks, Jews and the Pope.
The White House, Vice President Cheney and various Republicans in Congress demanded that Kerry apologize to his audience for his performance. The senator appeared on the "Imus in the Morning" radio show on MSNBC this morning and seemed contrite: "Of course, I'm sorry about the botched jokes." He said he was returning to Washington because he did not want to be "a distraction" to other comedians.
Comedian Shecky Greene said Kerry's performance was "about what I'd expect" because "he's nothing but a novelty act, he isn't even a member of the Friar's Club. Look, the guy never paid his dues in the Catskills like the rest of us. So, he botches a few jokes, what do you expect?"
