NOAH SWAYNE WARRANTS THAT IF DOCUMENTS ARE GIVEN TO HIM, THEY'LL DISAPPEAR FOREVER -- BECAUSE HE'LL LOSE THEMPITTSBURGH - Document destruction has become big business as companies become ever more sensitive to the need to protect clients' confidential information.
But local businessman Noah Swayne says that document destruction companies don't cut it. "Anybody can shred documents," Swayne said. "The problem is, the paper still exists, albeit in shredded form."
Swayne is touting a foolproof service for a fraction of what the big companies charge: "If you really want a document to disappear forever, just give it to me. I warrant that no one will ever see it again," Swayne said. Swayne's secretary, Velveeta Lugosi-Ravenstahl, concurs: Swayne will lose any document given to him within three minutes of its receipt. "Just put something on his desk and it's gone."
Ms. Lugosi-Ravenstahl requests that any orders for this service be sent to her attention "because if they're sent to [Swayne], he'll just lose them."
