PEKING - Employees and members of the Chinese Communist Party were shocked this morning when the Great Helmsman himself, Mao Tse Tung, wearing only a mysterious black top hat, walked through the Great Hall of the People, greeting passers-by and issuing calls to imprison or exterminate all enemies of the Revolution. Mao Tse Tung, who died thirty years ago, had spent the past twenty-five years as a life-size statue in Tienanmen Square . Mao was apparently returned to life by the magical powers contained within a black hat placed on his head by a group of Chinese children. One of the children told CNN that “when we placed it on his head, he began to dance around." The new Mao’s first words to the children were reportedly “Happy Birthday.” He then asked the kids if anyone knew “how Nixon was doing.” International observers are concerned that the old-new Mao could seek to restore his legendary cult of personality. A spokesman for Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice said the Secretary was “concerned” that the return of a controversial figure such as Mao Tse Tung could “impede” progress the Chinese are making in areas such as human rights and international relations.
The spokesman refused to say whether or not the United States would support any attempt to remove the top hat from Mao’s head. “We do not wish to interfere in the internal affairs of China ,” he said. “We have no official position on this matter.” But, he added, “If the Chinese people want to return Mao to the form of a statue, they will have to do it on their own.”
A spokesman for the former statue Mao, now once again Chairman Mao, said the late but now living leader had no plans to remove his hat any time soon.
