TEHRAN - Hasbro, Inc. will expedite shipments of its popular "Tickle Me Khomeini" doll to Iran this week after hundreds of holiday shoppers were injured while waiting in line. Violence erupted across the country at numerous Al-Marts, a gigantic Iranian discount store, where large crowds gathered, jostling each other to obtain one of the much sought-after dolls. The cuddly, plush, "Tickle Me Khomeini" features the Grand Imam with his customary stern visage. But whenever you rub his belly, the doll emits a sustained, high-pitch giggle.
President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad made an urgent appeal for calm this morning. Appearing on state television, the President sought to assure nervous parents that his government was doing everything possible to ensure sufficient quantities of the doll would be available for the holidays. President Ahmadinejad also issued a stern warning to would-be profiteers. "Price gouging will not be tolerated," he said. "If anyone is caught selling a 'Tickle Me Ayatollah' at an exorbitant price, the penalty is death."
This is not the first time an Ayatollah Khomeini novelty item has created turmoil in Iranian society. In 1978, shortages of the Khomeini swimsuit poster, in which the leader of the Iranian revolution revealed a glimpse of his left nipple, started riots which eventually led to the overthrow of the Shah. Other hot-selling toys in Iran this Christmas are "Allah-board, the Train," a steam engine featured on a long-running Iranian children's show, and the EZ-Bake Nuclear Reactor. And for adults, merchants can't keep "Trivial Pursuit: U.S. Embassy Hostage Crisis Edition" on the shelves.