NORTH POLE - Santa Claus, jolly head of an Upper-Arctic toy and novelty empire, was seriously injured yesterday when the Norelco Razor he was riding collided with a pine tree. Police said the force of the collision threw Mr. Claus nearly twenty yards from the razor. He was found, unconscious, in a snow bank. Authorities said Mr. Claus was not wearing a seat belt. Police found an empty bottle of scotch and a loaded revolver inside the glove compartment of the razor. Mr. Claus was put in an immobilizer, placed on a stretcher, and taken by helicopter to North Pole Suburban General. The results of toxicology tests were unavailable at press time. Mr. Claus remains in critical condition. Sources within the Claus organization said Mr. Claus loved the thrill of gliding his custom-made mobile Norelco over snow and ice-covered hills. "Santa was in love with speed," said one elf, who wished to remain anonymous. "He loved to roar down the mountain and watch the animals scatter," he said. "I can't tell you how many times he came home with deer impaled on one of the razor's three smooth acting blades."
Despite his close shave with death, Santa is expected to make a full recovery by Christmas.
