BUSH UNVEILS NEW WAR STRATEGY: ATTACK SOMALIA INSTEAD

WASHINGTON - In a move designed to ensure a U.S. victory at war, President Bush today ordered that the focus for all combat forces be shifted from Iraq to Somalia. U.S. forces immediately conducted a successful air strike in southern Somalia against Islamic militants living in a tent city.

“Our job is done in Iraq,” said presidential spokesman Tony Snow. “We have successfully disarmed Iraq from weapons of mass destruction, and we have eliminated Saddam Hussein, who was the chief architect of the 9/11 attacks against our country.” President Bush also briefly spoke to reporters, adding, “we expect to have this whole war on terror thing wrapped up by next week.”

Somalian AP writer Mohamed Sheik Nor reported that U.S. helicopters and one AC-130 gunship "fired several rockets on a dirt path” near the town of Afmadow in southern Somalia, killing the two of the last few Al-Qaida terrorists remaining in the world, along with 12 goats, 3 donkeys and a water buffalo.