COWHER TO RESIGN TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH HIS FAMILY; HIS FAMILY PREFERS THAT HE CONTINUE EARNING HEAD COACH'S SALARY
PITTSBURGH - The Pittsburgh Steelers will hold a news conference at 1:00 pm today to announce that head coach Bill Cowher is retiring to spend more time with his family. One of Cowher's children, Lindsay, spoke to this news source on condition of anonymity: "What makes him think we want to spend more time with him?" she asked. "He scares us. Besides, we already see enough of him. I mean, what the hell does he intend to do with us that requires such inordinate amounts of time that he has to quit his job? Hang out with us at the mall? Frankly, we'd prefer that he keep collecting that big head coach's paycheck, for obvious reasons."
PITTSBURGH - The Pittsburgh Steelers will hold a news conference at 1:00 pm today to announce that head coach Bill Cowher is retiring to spend more time with his family. One of Cowher's children, Lindsay, spoke to this news source on condition of anonymity: "What makes him think we want to spend more time with him?" she asked. "He scares us. Besides, we already see enough of him. I mean, what the hell does he intend to do with us that requires such inordinate amounts of time that he has to quit his job? Hang out with us at the mall? Frankly, we'd prefer that he keep collecting that big head coach's paycheck, for obvious reasons."
