PHILADELPHIA - Philadelphia sycophants of Prince Charles and his second wife, Camilla, gathered at Independence Hall Saturday and watched in bewilderment as Parker Bowles gingerly slid her index and middle finger along the bifurcation of Rendell’s storied buttocks. The duchess apparently thought press and fans were focused on a warm handshake between her royal husband and Mayor John F. Street.“I knew she was down to earth, a commoner for all intents and purposes, but I this was something I, we -- none of us -- expected. If anything, I would have gone for the mayor’s ass, but there’s no accounting for taste,” said Royal admirer Bertha Tuckwacker.
Witnesses say Rendell seemed unphased at the “feel,” and responded to the touch by pulling up his pants.
When later asked about the incident, he said he was oblivious to any improprieties on the part of Camilla. “I just thought I was catching a draft,” said Rendell. “The pants, well, they just don’t fit like they used to,” he chuckled.
The royal couple are on a whirlwind tour of the United States because, according to the Royal press office, "they feel a necessity to lend the appearance that they have actual jobs."
Rendell would not comment further on the subject, saying he had to hurry to keep a lunch appointment "with some French-Canadian guy in Pittsburgh who’s been whining about not getting a new arena for his hockey team, or some such damn nonsense."
