WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing a need to move quicker on issues she called “vital to the American people,” Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-California) has hired renowned talk-show host Larry King as Assistant Speaker of the House. King, the host of CNN’s “Larry King Live,” will remain in his newly created position for the first one hundred days of the new Democratic-controlled Congress. Representative Pelosi said her willingness to be evenhanded and listen to the opinions of others was becoming a detriment. “I still don’t know if I have it in me to tell my former colleagues to shut up,” she said. For his part, Assistant Speaker King had no problem moving things along. Yesterday morning, King opened discussion on a bill designed to raise the minimum wage with “G o ahead, Ohio.” When stunned members of the Ohio delegation huddled to determine who would speak first, King became impatient. "Ohio?” he barked, before cutting off their time. “I’m afraid we’ve lost them,” he said. Mr. King, who wore a pair of suspenders embossed with the seal of the Congress of the United States, said he was “absolutely thrilled” to be able to do something for his country. “Just like Jack Kennedy asked me to,” he added. Mr. King promised to remain available to leaders of both parties should they need to extricate themselves from protracted discussions of complicated issues. “Nobody knows how to stop a filibuster quicker than I do,” he said.
