SON OF NEWSPAPER MAGNATE TO BECOME PRINCIPAL OWNER OF CONFLICT UPON RATIFICATION BY JOINT CHIEFS OF STAFFWASHINGTON, D.C. - President Bush dropped his title as Commander in Chief of the United States forces in Iraq today, officially ceding control of the conflict to Robert “Bob” Nutting. The President will continue to be responsible for the day-to-day operations of the war, but final approval of all major decisions must be made after consultation – and with the blessing of - Mr. Nutting. In a statement released to reporters, Mr. Nutting said he was “deeply and resolutely committed to the success of the United States mission in Iraq. I understand how important the members of our armed forces are to the people of this region, and I share in their passion to see our military succeed. President Bush was supportive of this change of control, and it should provide absolute clarity to our friends and foes regarding the ownership structure of this war.”
At a joint White House press conference held on the Franklin Pierce veranda, both President Bush and Mr. Nutting seemed pleased with the new arrangement. “This is finally going to allow me to get back to doing the things I was elected to do,” said the President. Pressed for specifics, Mr. Bush had a quick response. “Jogging, cycling, swimming and golfing.” The jovial mood was broken, albeit briefly, when a reporter questioned Mr. Nutting about his commitment to winning the battle being waged on the front line of the war on terror. “I think that’s completely inappropriate,” he snapped. Mr. Nutting leaves this morning for Baghdad where he will meet with Sunni and Shiite officials. Mr. Nutting is expected to name Pittsburgh Pirates General Manager Dave Littlefield as head of the Iraqi Rebuilding Program some time next week.
