PHILADELPHIA - The Prince of Wales and Duchess of Cornwall came to the city where American colonists declared their independence from the British monarchy Saturday, and they headed straight to South Philadelphia, the birthplace of the world famous Philly cheese steak. Prince Charles wanted to personally endorse the efforts of Joey Vento, the owner of Geno's Philly Cheese Steaks, to require that English be spoken when ordering the quintessential Philadelphia food. The Prince started to correspond with Vento last year when Vento was the center of a maelstrom after placing a sign in his restaurant's window saying: "This is America, please order In English."When the Royals arrived at Geno's, the Prince hugged Vento and the two men prepared to film a public service announcement promoting Vento's "English-only" campaign. Giant cue-cards were brought in for the men to read their lines, and after a few words with the film crew, the director shouted "Action."
Vento, reading from the cards in a stiff and unconvincing manner, yelled, "Yo, Prince, jeet yet?"
"No, Joey," said the Prince, doing his best to imitate a Philadelphia accent. "Jew?"
Vento put his arm around Charles. "Well, I ain't lettin' yous two stop at no Ack-a-me on yer way outa town; yous are both eatin' here at Geno's."
Then the camera closed in on the Prince. "Well, Joey, it's my pleasure, because Great Britain salutes your efforts to promote uniformity in speech as a positive means of finding a common cultural ground in the vast melting pot that is America."
A perplexed look shot across Vento's face, and it was clear he was no longer acting. "Vast what-ing pot? Alright, turn off the cameras," he yelled. Then he glared at the Prince. "I get it, this is a joke, right? Here we're doin' a commercial about 'English-only' and you're puttin' me on, speakin' some other language." After the Prince calmed Vento down, it was decided that Charles' final lines would be filmed from a studio in London. The Royals jumped in their car, and it was off to visit the statue of Sylvester Stallone as Rocky.
