BAGHDAD - The lawyer for the family of Saddam Hussein said the widow of the now-deceased former ruler of Iraq will establish a scholarship in his name to assist young sociopaths who require financial assistance in their ruthless quest for power. Attorney Saleh al-Armouti made the announcement at a press conference this morning. He was accompanied by Mr. Hussein’s wife, Jacqueline Kennedy Hussein, and her two children, Caroline and John-John Hussein. “I can think of no better way to honor our martyred leader than to help create a worthy successor to his glorious reign of terror,” said Mr. al-Armouti. He went on to say that he believed conditions were ideal for a Saddam-like megalomaniac to rule Iraq once again. “But it would be an immense tragedy if that homicidal megalomaniac never got an opportunity to oppress, or kill because his family couldn’t afford to provide him with the education that all great dictators possess.”
Mr. al-Armouti explained that the scholarship was something that he had discussed with Mr. Hussein during his recent incarceration. “Saddam just felt like he wanted to give something back,” he said. The Saddam Hussein Scholarship, a renewable grant of ten American dollars, will be available for freshman students at Tikrit Teacher’s College beginning this academic year. Applications are available on-line, or at the Saddam Hussein Foundation Main Office located in beautiful downtown Baghdad. Applicants are expected to submit their completed application in writing, preferably at gunpoint, no later than May 1, 2007.
