LONDON - Queen Elizabeth II caused quite a stir in Great Britain today when she appeared in public to announce that she had cut off all of her hair. The Queen walked outside the gates of Buckingham Palace for nearly ten minutes, chatting with tourists, posing for pictures and soliciting opinions about her new look. “What do you think?” she asked. “Don’t I look like a Hare Krishna?” The Queen then reached under her royal coat and pulled out a tambourine, which she then began slapping off of her royal thigh. She chanted in a loud voice in time with the beat of her tambourine and danced around the gates, before members of the Black Guard gently led her into a Royal Ambulance. According to one high-ranking official inside the Media Relations Department at Buckingham Palace, the Queen flew to Esther’s Haircutting Studio in Tarzana, California this weekend on a whim. “She’s been acting very strange lately,” said the official. “Especially since the death of her good friend Anna Nicole.” The official was referring to the recent passing of the gold-digging one-time fried-chicken stand employee-former stripper-eleventh grade dropout Anna Nicole Smith, a frequent guest at the Queen’s summer castle in Balmoral, Scotland.
While in California , the Queen is rumored to have obtained two tattoos. One is a series of Chinese characters across her left bicep, which, translated into English, means “Rule Strong.” The other, a butterfly being swallowed by a viper, is allegedly at the base of her spine, just above her buttocks.
