The Queen then reached under her royal coat and pulled out a tambourine, which she then began slapping off of her royal thigh. She chanted in a loud voice in time with the beat of her tambourine and danced around the gates, before members of the Black Guard gently led her into a Royal Ambulance. According to one high-ranking official inside the Media Relations Department at Buckingham Palace, the Queen flew to Esther’s Haircutting Studio in Tarzana, California this weekend on a whim. “She’s been acting very strange lately,” said the official. “Especially since the death of her good friend Anna Nicole.” The official was referring to the recent passing of the gold-digging one-time fried-chicken stand employee-former stripper-eleventh grade dropout Anna Nicole Smith, a frequent guest at the Queen’s summer castle in Balmoral, Scotland.
While in California , the Queen is rumored to have obtained two tattoos. One is a series of Chinese characters across her left bicep, which, translated into English, means “Rule Strong.” The other, a butterfly being swallowed by a viper, is allegedly at the base of her spine, just above her buttocks.