PITTSBURGH - Dr. Barbara Baker, President of the Pittsburgh Zoo and PPG Aquarium, announced today that two of the elephants residing at the Pittsburgh Zoo are pregnant. In an even more shocking disclosure, Dr. Baker revealed that the “proud papa” of the two calves – expected to arrive in May or June of 2008 – is none other than New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. The mothers, Moja and Savanna, issued a joint statement through their publicist, Christine Papadopoulous, expressing joy that they were carrying the offspring of a certain NFL Hall of Famer. It read, in part: “The evening we spent with Tom is an evening we’ll never forget.” The news comes days after Brady was named as the father of the child currently residing within the womb of his former girlfriend, Bridget Moynihan, with whom he shared a three year relationship, and over a week since reports surfaced that he is the father of Daniellynn Smith, daughter of the late Anna Nicole Smith. Don Yee, Brady’s agent, told the Associated Press that “Tom and his family are excited about the pregnancies, and want to thank everyone who has shown support, and particularly for their consideration of Tom’s privacy.”
According to Dr. Baker, when Brady learned that he had increased the size of the herd, he immediately offered to donate funds in order to increase the size of the elephant barn. “Tom made a generous donation” said Baker. “I am confident he will do the right thing and honor his paternal obligations.”
