To Hell With Pigeons, I Say

Editorial by Ozzy Osbourne, The Prince of Darkness

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette has once again missed the mark, making plain its misguided mores by denouncing legal pigeon shoots as “barbarous events.” Clearly, its editorial board has never seen the movie Gladiator.

Unfortunately, this kind of tripe no longer surprises me, coming from a group of liberal elitists who must be walking under invisible, invincible umbrellas, shielding them from the unkind effects of pigeon poop.

And need I mention the incident that paralyzed Downtown just a short time ago, when equally imprudent law enforcement intervened and prevented a man from becoming a hero?

To suggest that pigeons are living, breathing creatures who do not deserve to be slaughtered so inhumanely is not only a veritable broadside against Downtown office workers who are simply trying to go about their business without nettlesome pigeons slowing them down, but it is a short-sighted approach to the growing problem of ethical treatment of animals in rural America as well.

The animal-loving miscreants at the *Post-Gazette* who choose to ruminate daily over the trivial matters of right versus wrong have never had one of these revolting birds build a nest on their front porch, obviously. If there is any pigeon that deserves to be shot to death, it is a live one. Americans have been shooting live pigeons for sport since the 1830s, and I see no reason why it should stop now.

Further, the Post-Gazette's unabashed support for House Bill 73, which would prohibit pigeon shoots, demonstrates how far selfish, fowl-doting writers can go. Noah’s dove was a pigeon? Phooey, I say. Pigeons saving soldiers in World Wars I *and* II? Fiction.

Saving only one office worker the inconvenience of sidestepping a pigeon in Market Square by shooting all the pigeons to death may not matter to everyone, but to that one office worker, I say, it matters.