PITTSBURGH - Governor Ed Rendell announced yesterday evening that he funding has been secured for a new hockey arena in Pittsburgh. The announcement comes only hours after the conclusion of a rally at the corner of Grant Street and Forbes Avenue held by two shaggy-haired individuals holding hand-made signs asking motorists to “honk if you love the Penguins.”
Apparently, the din raised by horn-blowing hockey fans created such consternation in the offices of County Executive Dan Onorato and Mayor Luke Ravenstahl that a conference call was arranged with the Governor to debrief him on the situation.
“When I heard about the non-stop horn blowing right outside the windows of downtown workers, I knew I could wait no longer,” said the Governor. “I tip my hat to the Penguins, and their fans. This was a ruthless tactic I didn’t anticipate, and they used it to their advantage. I can only add: touché.”
According to several witnesses, numerous motorists responded to the request by repeatedly honking their horn in three to five second intervals. David Corbett, of Millvale, said he heard one man blast his horn for at least thirty seconds without interruption. However, Mr. Corbett allowed for the possibility that, in addition to proclaiming his love for the Penguins, the man at the wheel may have had an ulterior motive. “There was an elderly woman using a walker attempting to cross the street,” said Corbett. “I think he was kind of upset that she was holding him up.” Mr. Corbett added that the honking motorist repeatedly stuck his middle finger out of the car window in an effort to express dissatisfaction. “He might have been upset at the pace of the old lady, but then again, he might have been upset at the pace of negotiations between the Penguins and local politicians.”
No one who participated in the decisive rally said they could recall a sign asking motorists to “give somebody the finger if you love the Penguins.”