WASHINGTON -- A Justice Department spokesman told reporters this morning that Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has made a complete recovery from his incidents of memory loss and amnesia. The recovery has been characterized by his doctors as “nothing short of a miracle.”

Clearly overjoyed by the news, acting White House press secretary Dana Perino told reporters that “Alberto [Gonzales] will stay on as Attorney General." Perino added that “even the President has experienced large gaps of memory loss over a period of years, but it has not prevented him from serving the people of this great nation.”

Moments after Perino finished addressing reporters, Gonzales entered the room for a photo session at which he clearly remembered the President.

“They thought that I would never remember anything again,” said Gonzales. "But thanks to the prayers of this administration and the American people, except for a few personnel meetings last year, I can now remember everything, and I am ready to serve.”