CITES DESIRE TO INCREASE PENNSYLVANIA’S INFLUENCE IN SELECTION PROCESS, INFURIATE PEOPLE OF IOWA AS KEY FACTORS
HARRISBURG - Governor Ed Rendell announced this morning at his weekly news conference that he has decided to move up the date of the state’s 2008 presidential primary.
The new date is next Tuesday.
The Governor offered several reasons for the change. “I think choosing a candidate to run for the highest office in the land is too important to be left to the slow-witted hicks of a two-bit state like Iowa. That goes double for the granite-brained residents of the granite state.” The Governor was referring to Iowa and New Hampshire, two states that have traditionally held the earliest contests for delegates during a presidential election campaign.
“I want to say today to Hillary, and Barack, and Mitt – what the hell kind of a name is Mitt? – We’ve got your delegates right here. Come and get’em!” The Governor said he was taking appropriate measures to allow candidates maximum flexibility in visiting as many communities across the Commonwealth as possible in the six days remaining before polls open.
“I have instructed the state police to waive all speed limits for anyone campaigning for President traveling across our roads for the next week. Also, I have designated all Pennsylvania air-space a free-fly zone, which means candidates won’t have to receive clearance from air-traffic controllers when going by helicopter or commuter jet to and from volunteer fire halls and church basements.”
The Governor’s move comes less than twelve hours since the Ohio state legislature voted to change the date of the 2008 Ohio presidential primary to next Monday.